Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
