All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
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Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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