I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
