you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
pop tarts are not kleenex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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