Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just had sex bonerless
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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