i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you had me at cake vodka
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
