Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
