we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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