so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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