Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
did i just pee glitter
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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