I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
