yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
