I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
