you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
