omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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