This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
