Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize