i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
