How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
