so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
