brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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