so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
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I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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