At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
