I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
