Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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