sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you had me at cake vodka
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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