I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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