I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
