I bet he comes in French.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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