it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
