I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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