he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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