I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
