is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize