I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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