Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
