Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
