i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
