If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
