hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize