And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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