Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
