JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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