This is not my ceiling
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
