we have officially lost it.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
