He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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