I wish I could punch you in the face.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
