I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I died a long time ago.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize