It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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