Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
