I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Pooping to opera.
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