Do vagina's smell?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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