I just threw up on my dentist
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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