Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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