Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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