ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
