You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What a dumb baby whore.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
