It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
