I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
