Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
