i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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